


Golden Ice

by Riddance



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riddance/pseuds/Riddance
Summary: How to describe what Jaejoong is to Yunho.
Relationships: Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Kim Jaejoong, YunJae - Relationship
Kudos: 8





	Golden Ice

**Author's Note:**

> My first TVXQ writing ever! I think this is the start of an interesting journey.

The description wakes Yunho up in the middle of the night, like a song he’d been trying to recall the name of, pacing on the tip of his tongue. Some kind of spirit making sure he grasps the thought before it drowns beneath all other thoughts, lost forever in a forgotten dream.

‘ _Golden ice._ '

He hears from a place that doesn’t feel quite from his head, not his voice but not unfamiliar.

That’s what Jaejoong is.

Blinding golden ice.

Warm smiles and warm skin that freezes Yunho into shapes and feelings, without intention, so naturally. Jaejoong leaves him in seasons. Stuck in Spring while he transitions to Summer, bracing Winter while he lingers in Fall. A playful smirk before digging his palms deep in denim pockets and walking away. Always so carelessly aware of his consequence, how letting himself be known was letting himself be loved in ways he never took responsibility for. But it wasn’t his job, so why should he? This cheshire cat Yunho couldn’t help but follow.

For Jaejoong, it was much more fun nipping at people’s shoulders and laughing. Not taking things so seriously. He liked the upper hand, never the mess, never the hangover aches, after he’s gotten too close and seemed too open and on the same page. The way his lips brushed cheeks. Such a flirt. Yunho didn’t know if they were mature or immature for letting drunkenness be an excuse. Things didn’t ‘count’ during those nights out. They were old enough to know it meant nothing, really. Or were they still young enough that they didn’t allow it to mean anything? Too scared. There was no way for Yunho to ask.

The crush was a crush. Yunho, of course, had had crushes before so parts of this weren’t surprising. Holding himself back, within, using his daily energy for distance observation. To be closer because that’s all he wants, to be further to not be found out. Unlike the nights of drinking, in the day everything was more precise. There weren’t shadows to absorb glances and brushing hands and licking lips. Yunho moved like some kind of planetary rotation. Exhausting behavior.

But Jaejoong is Jaejoong. Charismatic edges. A glinting sword of power and beauty that can’t stay still forever. That can be claimed as decoration, but always waits for another purpose. Love like this can’t be lived with, right? It can only be confusing, bringing Yunho to life and death to life and death so fast. Dizzy and damaging, all for himself to own in all its unrequitedness. Not even the satisfaction of a widow that once had, just an owner to imagination and limbo.

But the thing is… Jaejoong would get it. He would find this interesting. Another ego boost to be so paradoxical. He was never someone for simplicity, liking by looks. He’d understand the analogies, he’d revel in the layers. It would be another toy for him to play with like a kitten with yarn. What’s love, what’s intimacy, what’s brotherhood, what’s a kiss on the cheek from your good friend, your good guy friend, you can’t stop thinking about?

It’s not that Yunho wanted to like him or looked for someone to like. All he did was live and love came in like the wind.

One morning, when the dorm room’s windows had been left open by mistake and he’d woken up first, shivering, to find Jaejoong’s face peacefully resting beside him, hair rustled by the breeze and skin bronze from their summer tans. Yunho had shifted to close the window and Jaejoong had shifted so Yunho’s waist couldn’t move. From behind the chill of Jaejoong’s skin, Yunho felt sunlight sink into him, feeding a seed he’d known was in his heart. (He had seeds for so many people.) But this wasn’t the flower he’d expected to feel grow. Not from this seed, not from this person. And since then, being with Jaejoong had felt like the sun on a cold day and he wondered how long a flower could survive on golden ice.


End file.
